Spring Has Sprung.

Fact: I deeply inhaled a mutantly large chunk of pollen on my run today. Subsequent fact: it is spring! Unrelated fact: I inhaled a fly on my run today as well, but it was normal sized.

I know that according to whichever poor soul is in charge of the tides, Earth rotations, daylight savings time and providing Punxsutawney Phil with enough food, water and bridal magazines, spring hit this tiny blue planet over a month ago. But the city of London must have insulted the lovely season at a dinner party recently– which is sad but frankly not surprising– because it has taken its sweeeeeet time in gracing us with its presence.

But when I returned recently from my week and a half European Party Tour 2014 feat. David Guetta, it was like the whole city had been transformed. London is BLOOMING! Birds are chirping at 4 in the morning now, JUST BECAUSE! The air smells slightly LESS LIKE SMOG now! Hurrah hurrah hurrah!

And what did I do to celebrate this new season? Run like Heidi on the hilltops, yodeling and making goat cheese? Weave a massive necklace out of daisies and yucca fiber? Do my taxes? No!  I’ll tell you what I did! I spent all week in the library, talking to no humans, slowly but surely going INSANE! On the bright (PUNS ARE ALWAYS INTENDED) side, the library room I spent every single day in has a glass ceiling, so I would periodically stare up at it and blink desperately at the sky. On a sort of related note, I now see why it is so difficult for women to break through the glass ceiling, because (a) it is very high up there, with no convenient means of access and (b) it would be a very rude thing to do, considering all the hardworking people who are studying beneath it and don’t deserve to have shards falling all over their persons.

But the end is almost in sight, the essays are almost complete, and I will soon be able to frolic and churn butter and ride on top of swans all I like. And this just in from the American front: my lovely mother and father will very soon be making their way across the majestic Atlantic Ocean to visit me. Which is very exciting for many many reasons that I cannot even BEGIN to list for you now, but one of them is that they will be carrying with them… MY BIRKENSTOCKS!

ARE YOU READY FOR MY BIRKENSTOCKS, LONDON?? SOMETIMES I WEAR THEM WITH SOCKS! DO YOU THINK YOU’RE READY FOR THAT?!

I don’t think it’s ready. But it’s springtime, people. And my toesies are going to showsies.